New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
