omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
