I am puke
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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