I just pynch a tree in the face
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Maybe he injected his testicle?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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