I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
