So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
