Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize