we have officially lost it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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