never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
