I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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