I feel great
I just peed on a car
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
