got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
