I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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