I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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