Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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