People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
