Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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