i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
