Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize