Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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