I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
