I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
