Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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