Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
