I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
