I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This is the prime rib incident all over again
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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