So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize