Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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