hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize