the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
