cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
