He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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