Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
