Moan for me like Helen Keller
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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