Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
