I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
