So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
