U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
