Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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