You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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