Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
