did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize