the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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