I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
