My first STD was from a foam party
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
