Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
