I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
