I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
