So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
