after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
