...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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