This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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