there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
