is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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