Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize