then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
