Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
